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Experts Say Looking for Happiness Can Make You Unhappy

Most people believe that happiness can always be found in times and places that you don’t look for it, that it just comes to you naturally. There are also some people who believe that happiness is a choice that everyone can make since we are responsible for our own happiness.

According to the owner of Happylogist and author of Happiness is Here: A 30-Day Guide to Joy and Fulfillment, Susanna Halonen, people who are desperately seeking for happiness are most likely finding unhappiness instead. This is because of all the expectations and not being content when it comes to a lot of things, which is why she shared some of the things that you should and you shouldn’t do when it comes to finding that true happiness within, continue reading to find out more.

Susanna Halonen is a Finnish blogger of ‘Happyology’ and a life coach

Halonen believes that people who try so hard to be happy always end up being unhappy, and that is a fact because it just makes people anxious that is constantly making them feel overwhelmed about things all the time.

That pressure that they feel is something that would definitely make them unhealthy even more. She also said that happiness has a different meaning to everyone because people have a perspective on what exactly are the things that would make thyme happy. Society often tells us what you should feel and what you should do and that is the part where it all goes wrong.

There is one major thing that most people say about happiness and that is not being able to feel anything negative. People basically tell themselves that in order for you to be happy you must not feel sad or down or scared or any negative feeling, then again Halonen said that it true happiness does not come from a smile or laugh, it comes from the fact that you are living and not just existing.

Having to have the privilege to have the full human experience means that you must accept the fact life is a roller coaster ride, ups and downs must be both accepted in life or else you wouldn’t be truly happy. Don’t try and run away from your problems, instead find a way to solve them because that is the only way that you’ll get over it.


A teenage girl asked her grandmother how will she able to find true happiness, her grandmother just said that during her time she didn’t believe in what they now called as FOMO or the Fear Of Missing Out, in fact, when life gave her lemons, she tried to make amazing lemonades out of it, and with acceptance without expecting anything, she knew she could be happy. According to recent statistics, the American millennial generation has the highest percentage when it comes to being a perfectionist, which could then lead to them being the most unhappy generation.

According to the author of America the Anxious: Why Our Search for Happiness Is Driving Us Crazy and How to Find It for Real, Ruth Whippman, not a single person in this world could feel 100 percent great all the time because it is just impossible. There will always be ups and downs since it is inevitable in life, which is why when people experience pain and suffering, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they made the wrong choices or they are living differently, it just means that they are living.

Whipmann also mentioned how people of this generation tend to have such high expectations of what exactly is like to be happy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking and wanting to find happiness, but the fact that people tend to put pressure on themselves as if life is a competition is something that is wrong. People shouldn’t treat happiness as a price because those who let themselves be happy are those who accept everything no matter how good or bad it may be.

According to recent research, true happiness doesn’t really hinge self-fulfillment or any self-care, it is more of accepting what it’s like to live in this world and adapting to other people. The rise of social media is making it difficult for people to interact with one another personally and it is also causing people to get a glimpse into the life of others who share it, which makes them want to have more and make them feel that they want to have a better life than them. This kind of attitude is just a way for someone to be unhappy and if this continues, happiness wouldn’t be achieved.

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